Where Have I Been & Where Am I Going...Part 1

You know those people who have always known they wanted to teach?  It’s their undying passion and calling?  It’s what they always knew they were meant to do?  Yeah, that wasn’t me.  Teaching wasn’t my first profession.  When I was in college I really wasn’t sure what the future held for me.  I came from a family of educators and I knew I wanted something different.  You know, I had the typical adolescent “I want to do exactly the OPPOSITE of what my parents do” thought process. I wanted something exciting and high powered.  I wanted to wear designer suits and work in a sky rise and have lunch meetings over martinis.  That seemed glamorous to me.  I graduated from USC with a B.A. in Communication and thought I’d go into the marketing or advertising fields, or perhaps even the entertainment industry.  Looking back, I had no idea what the hell I really wanted.  I was like the two main characters in “Romy and Michele”...you know, the ones who wore adorable suits, pretended they invented Post-Its and asked for the “business woman special” at the diner even though they were unemployed.  (If you don’t know the reference, just imagine a child playing dress up).  What did I know? I just thought pencil skirt suits and heels looked hot!  I didn’t come from a business minded family.  I don’t say that in a negative way, my parents were wonderful, respected, hard working educators.  It just means they probably knew about as much as I did in terms of what career path to take when it came to the world of business.  So I ended up just sort of following my friends.  First, I followed one friend to Enterprise Rent-A-Car and worked there for two years.  It’s hard to imagine getting burned out at the budding age of twenty-three, but that job was about as gnarly as I could imagine.  There were parts of it that were fun, especially because I was working alongside other young recent college grads.  We were getting worked to the bone, cleaning cars in nylons and heels, dealing with difficult customers, and doing grunt work with our newly obtained college degrees.  But hey, at least we were doing it together!!  And to be fair, we were learning a decent amount about running a business from the ground up.  Plus, there was always a company sponsored happy hour to soften the blow of sixty hour weeks, sprinting for cars in stilettos and vacuuming cheerios out of the backseat of an Impala.   

After two years, I was done with Enterprise and ended up moving back home to pay my way out of debt (Hollywood living will do that to you) and find other work.  This time I followed another friend into a staffing agency, where our job was to solicit new companies to utilize our services.  I was terrible.  I am not a sales person.  I don’t want to have to convince you, cajole you, wine and dine you to persuade you to buy a product or a service.  It just isn’t in my DNA and it feels surface and meaningless to me.  After struggling through that job for nearly a year, I was hired as an administrative assistant at a pan spray company.  This was a pretty decent job, but the boss was kind of an asshole and the guy that I worked for directly was an old codger that smelled funny and made uncomfortable comments about the way I dressed.  Peace out.  

At this point in time I had many friends starting to get into serious relationships and head down the marriage path.  Meanwhile I was just kind of floundering, having no idea what to do, how to do it, what I was good at, etc.  I know that tons of people work numerous jobs that they hate.  I get it.  I'm not above hard work, but I was young and wanted to find my passion!  I knew I had some talent somewhere, but I needed to tap into it.  Plus, I was stuck in Newbury Park, where I grew up!  Newbury Park is a beautiful suburb, but I should have left!  I suppose since I had just gotten myself out of my Hollywood living debt, I was too scared to get back into it by moving to a new city and risking financial failure again.  I felt trapped in a bubble.  Plus, I felt stuck on the notion that I was expected to go down the “4 years of college, get a job, get a husband, pop out some kids” path.  Whether those were external expectations or ones I was putting on myself, I cannot say for sure.  I know my parents never made me feel pressured, but they certainly always wanted me to have a plan.  I guess it’s just what I figured was supposed to happen.  And this is where I feel I sold out a bit.  I didn’t know what to do, so I went with what was familiar.  I had a serious boyfriend and our relationship was heading in the direction of matrimony, so I thought going back to school for my teaching credential made sense.  It was a good solid job, I thought kids were pretty cool since I had spent my college summers teaching swim lessons, and I thought it would make a great career for a wife and a mother.  So I went back to school, completed my Multiple Subject K-6 teaching credential, student teaching and eventually completed my Masters in Education.  

Having been the daughter of educators, I had a preconceived notion about teaching.  I was under the ignorant impression that you had the ability to choose what grade you wanted to teach and that you could remain in that grade until YOU opted for a change.  That is how it had been for my mom, so silly me thought it would be the same.  And for a bit it WAS that way!  I was fortunate enough to be hired right away, in the exact job I wanted.  I was teaching 6th grade English and Social Science at the very middle school I attended as a tween, where my dad had been my principal.  I even took over my mama’s classroom!  Awwww, so quaint!  For a second it seemed like all was falling into place!  The hard work obtaining my credential and masters was completed, the perfect job was landed, there was a ring on my finger and wedding planning was underway.  Boy oh boy it had all worked out! 

HA!  Don’t get too comfortable.  If it sounds too perfect, it usually is.  The storm was brewing and it was right around the corner...

TO BE CONTINUED