Fearlessly Solo

For some people being single in their 30’s translates to being lonely.  Sometimes it means not having people to do things with.  From something as small as having a pal to grab dinner with or as big as finding a buddy to plan a trip to Europe with, it can be harder to find friends who are available.  Solo in your 30‘s often means having to make choices about venturing out alone or missing out.  This isn’t necessarily because you don’t have friends and family to do things with, but often their availability just isn’t what it used to be.  Totally normal.  Many of the friends I used to go out with are married with families now.  If we see each other twice a year I consider it a success.  Even the friends who are just as single as I am have a ton going on.  Careers, workout schedules, book clubs, family commitments and even just living proximity can affect our ability to connect.  It isn’t as easy to call someone on a whim and catch a last minute movie, grab an impromptu sushi roll or even hit the road for a spontaneous road trip.  However, whenever I’ve been in between relationships, I have always kept a promise to myself that being solo would never stop me from doing the things I want to do.  Work, money and other responsibilities may cause road blocks...but being single?  Never!  Let’s face it, we were put on this planet for seventy-five to eighty-five years (if we are extremely lucky) and time is going by whether we like it or not.  Someday I fully expect to settle down with a wonderful man and live that partnered life.  But for now I’m single, and I’m keeping this promise to myself.  While I am in the solo stages of my life, I will always make a genuine effort to live life to the fullest. I’m here to tell you, it’s not as scary as it may seem.

Case in point.  A few months ago, after spending a rainy Sunday watching Season One of HBO’s The Newsroom in its entirety, (great show...I highly recommend!) I started following one of the actors on Twitter.  (You may find I reference Twitter a lot in my blog.  It is a GREAT way to find out about things going on in the city.)  By following this actor on Twitter, I found out that he was performing in a small two man play at The Geffen Playhouse in Westwood.  Wow!  Here I’ve spent numerous hours watching this actor on T.V. and really admiring his work.  Now I have the opportunity to see him in an up close and personal setting only thirty miles from my house.  What a gift!  None of my friends were available to go, so I was faced with a choice.  Do I miss out on this opportunity or do I brave it alone?  My answer?  Brave it!  Obviously!  I called the box office to make sure they still had tickets, hopped in the car, and had a nice little afternoon at the theater with me, myself and I. The show was great and the theater was so intimate that I was literally a stones throw away from this actor that I had just been enjoying on HBO.  While waiting for the performance to start, I chatted with an older couple sitting next to me who have held season tickets to The Geffen for years.  They shared stories of other shows they had seen and big stars who have graced the stage.  They were lovely people.  The show was unique and like nothing I had ever seen before.  As I left the theater, the actor I had come to see was standing there in the lobby greeting theater goers! I had the opportunity to shake his hand and tell him how much I enjoyed the play, as well as his work on The Newsroom.  What a successful outing!  Had I not gone on that adventure I wouldn’t have had a lovely chat with the older couple sitting next to me, I wouldn’t have exposed myself to another art form and performance unlike any I had seen before, and I wouldn’t have had the chance to tell an actor that I admire that I enjoy his work IN PERSON!

It is true that we cannot always control the stages of life we are in.  Whether we are in the post breakup haze, the “single and loving it” phase, or even stuck in a partnership with someone who doesn’t share our adventurous spirit, what we CAN control is how we choose to spend our free time.  And we can do it with a fearless spirit.  Whether it means taking yourself to a movie, buying that single ticket to the Laker Game or booking a flight to Paris...I say DO IT.  Maybe it seems lonely or like these experiences would be better shared with a friend or partner.  But I am here to tell you, from experience, that when you are your own best friend, being solo in the suburbs is never a lonely journey.