Social Media Reflections

Recently I've been very pensive about what technology is doing to human relationships.  In particular, social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler, Vine and so many more outlets.  Have these sites replaced face to face interaction?  Have these sites helped cultivate better relationships, or have they created a false sense of connection that is, in fact, completely lacking a foundation? I would venture to guess there can be strong arguments for both.  But I do worry that eventually the human race is going to stop talking completely.  I fear that all communication will be done through "liking" a status, "favoriting" a tweet, uploading a photo or posting an ambiguous quote about life lessons and following your dreams.  And if that happens, are we truly living our dreams if we've lost the soul nourishing moments of face to face interactions that actually include, GASP, eye contact?  Can we possibly maintain the same sense of connection?

Every morning I go to Starbucks.  I know, it's a very expensive habit.  It's one I've tried to give up over and over, vowing to make my own coffee and use the saved money toward a fabulous trip or something else I need.  I just can't seem to do it.  In addition to loving their coffee, I also love seeing the same baristas every day, hearing them greet me by name, and even seeing some of the same customers every morning.  My delight, however, has been cut short lately as I've been noticing more and more often that out of six or seven people in line at Starbucks, almost every single person is looking down at their phone.  It is as if they are in a bubble, so entranced by whatever is being projected on their tiny blue screen that they forget that actual real life human beings are all around, waiting to be engaged and acknowledged.  How can projected pixels be better than the living breathing interaction and eye contact with someone standing in front of you?  What's worse, is now that I have become much more aware and reflective about our loss of human interaction, I've realized that for years I have been just as guilty of doing this as much as everyone else. Like so many others, I have been trapped in the technology loop...check my personal email, read a few texts, mosey on over to Facebook, like a few posts, maybe make a comment, post something, head on over to Instagram, check out the photos, scroll down to Twitter, favorite a few tweets, check my work email, RINSE AND REPEAT.  It's insane and has suddenly made me sad.  If we added up the minutes spent on these supposed "social" media outlets, would it be the equivalent to having a lovely lunch with a family member, grabbing a glass of wine with a friend, or taking a walk with a coworker?

Of course I acknowledge that there are great benefits to these social media websites.  Recently, a dear friend of mine helped her mother find her long lost son that had been given up for adoption over fifty years ago.  By posting information on Facebook and asking people to share it, the search reached as far as Asia and mother and son were reunited.  How amazing! Facebook allows us to keep up with people who are far away.  I am thrilled to be able to stay in touch with my cousins in New Orleans who I don't see very often.  I love knowing what they are doing and seeing their beautiful pictures on Facebook. I know there are many other stories of lost connections being remedied, advice and support being shared, and often a sense of community and support offered through tough times, times of mourning and shock, and times of celebration and happiness.  I love these aspects of social media and for these reasons, I am certainly not saying I want them to disappear.

I am simply asking for a bit of balance.  I think we give ourselves a false sense of connection through these social media websites.  For example, I read through my Facebook feed and I see that Johnny and his family went to the beach today, and my cousin Jane is at dinner with her husband, and my friend Suzie is having a tough time at work.  I take it all in, maybe make a comment or two, and then move on.  Am I giving myself the false sense that I am all caught up on these peoples' lives and don't need to make any more effort than that?  Does "liking" a tweet constitute the necessary support or enthusiasm between friends and families these days?  We need to keep in mind that these posts, tweets and pictures are only capturing an itty bitty fragment of the much bigger picture.  I don't want us to lose site of this.  I don't want us to let ourselves off the hook.  My hope is that people will remember that cell phones have only been around for a few decades.  In a simpler time people could stand in line at the coffee shop and chit chat with other patrons, moms could leave their kids at home with dad or a babysitter and not be checking their cell phone every ten minutes, friends could have dinner without the iPhone sitting next to their plate, and stories could be told using live voices and eye contact rather than being read in 8 point Times New Roman font in less than 140 characters.

My new goal is to unplug more often and interact face to face more frequently.  I've been making a concerted effort to leave my phone in my purse more often and not have it clutched in my hands at all times.  I don't want my memories to be made up of staring down at a screen.  I don't want my knowledge of my friends and family to be fed simply through a Facebook post.  I WANT to have a conversation with a random person at the coffee shop, because we have so much to learn from new people.  Because face to face human interaction feeds the soul.  Today I challenge you to unplug, make eye contact, and reach out to your loved ones beyond just liking their status.  I'm not saying that we need to give it all up, but let's bring it back to a simpler time.