Monday, November 11, 2013

Skid Row Experience


        Summer 2013 was an incredible journey for me.  I was able to spend substantial time in New Orleans with my beloved cousins, and then I was fortunate enough to travel to Spain, where I was able to explore Madrid and Barcelona, meet amazing people, and tap into strength that I didn’t even know I had.  The memories I created will last a lifetime.  The last leg of my wonderful summer vacation entailed renting a little studio in Los Feliz, an area of Los Angeles notoriously known for hipsters and night life.  While I was looking forward to participating in all things hipster, I also wanted to find an opportunity to give of myself and do something for others.  After all, in this fast paced, dog eat dog world that is inundated with social media, it is really easy to become self absorbed and closed off.  Our worlds, although broadened through the Internet, can almost become smaller...because instead of getting out there and forming communities, we are instead often staring at our screens, sort of swept up in a false sense of community.  Does this make sense?  Anyway, I could write a dissertation on that, but I will spare you.  :)  
I began searching for volunteer opportunities.  Boy, it can be difficult to give your time and help away for free!  Understandably, many organizations probably have a pretty strict filter system so that they procure volunteers who are trustworthy and reliable.  However, it can be tough and time consuming to go through an eight step process, interviews, finger prints, commitment of eight hours a week, just to help a cause you believe in.  Knowing I had limited time in Los Feliz, I was lucky enough to come across a group called Monday Night Mission that didn’t require any of the steps mentioned above.  Instead, their motto was basically, “Please help if you can!”  SOLD!  I read a little bit more about the group and learned that every night, Monday through Friday, a group of people get together at a Burger King in Downtown L.A., make as many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as their supplies will allow, and then head to skid row to feed the homeless.  The rules?  Donate what you can, even if it’s just a smile.  Wear closed toed shoes.  Be aware that you are putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation, but that help is needed.  I signed up that very day.  
The plan was to meet at the Burger King at 7pm.  I went to Ralph’s and stocked up on ten loaves of bread, and three jumbo sized peanut butters and jellies.  I also brought a box of sandwich baggies.  Of course I was a little nervous about what I was getting myself into, but are we really living if we aren’t stretching ourselves?  Don’t they say life begins when you step outside of your comfort zone?  I pulled into the parking lot armed with supplies, tennis shoes and a sweatshirt.  I walked up to a group of people who were already starting to form a sandwich making assembly line.  These folks could not have been kinder, sweeter or more welcoming.  At the same time, they were there to work.  They had a goal, a job, and it was going to get done.  The volunteers I met that night were from all walks of life and mostly in their twenties and thirties.  I met a Time Warner executive, an aerospace engineer, a checker from Albertsons, and a Special Education teacher.  To be honest, our day jobs didn’t matter.  That evening we were sandwich makers and we were there to serve.  After about an hour, we had produced 400 sandwiches.  Other people had brought bottled water, boxes of fruit and one beautiful couple had put together baggies of toothbrushes, toothpaste and floss.  Can you imagine?  Imagine living without these items that we take for granted on the daily?  
Although the volunteers I was working beside were strangers, we quickly became one entity working toward a common goal.  After our PB&J building was done, the Monday Night Mission leader, Mel, brought the group together for a talk before heading down to skid row.  He gave us a little background on the group, on the homeless living on Skid Row, and once again warned us that we were going into a potentially dangerous situation and that it was very important to follow the leaders.  He graciously told us that if anyone didn’t feel comfortable making the trek into skid row that it was perfectly fine to leave now, that helping to make sandwiches was significantly generous enough.  No one moved an inch.  The more experienced volunteers (volunteers who do this several nights a week) took the lead and we caravanned from the Burger King parking lot to Skid Row.  I hopped into a car with three young men who were so kind and protective, knowing it was my first time volunteering and that I had come alone.  While I knew we were going into an unpleasant situation, I wasn’t entirely prepared for what came next.  
First, I must give huge props to the Monday Night Mission group.  Their operation runs like a well oiled machine.  We set up a folding table on the street and many of the male volunteers acted like shields while the women passed out the food.  As we pulled up to the area where we were going to pass out food, I was stunned to see a line of nearly 300 homeless people waiting.  According to my new friends that I was riding with, most of these people had been standing in line for hours, waiting for their first and only meal of the day.  Although it was shocking, I remembered what Mel said...that providing a sandwich and a smile to these folks was the best gift you could give.  So I got out of that car, plastered a smile on my face, and went to work.  As each person came through the line, one of the more experienced volunteers would ask for their name and then tell us their name so we could greet them.  Some of these people have almost entirely lost their identity, their dignity and their hope.  It was so important to smile, say their name, hand them a sandwich and most importantly, treat them like a human being.  There were men, women, young, old, crazy, insane, unclean, sad, happy, polite, and rude.  It was one of the most eye opening experiences of my life.  I was so grateful that I was able to stay at the front of the line almost the entire time and hand out food.  I was so grateful that I was able to look so many of these human beings who have fallen on hard times right in the eye, give them a smile, and hand them a meal.  The majority of the people I handed food to were kind, grateful and said a genuine, “thank you.”  I could see shame and despair in some of their eyes, and as my heart broke, I remembered to stay strong and look them in the eye, say their name and give them that smile.  I wasn’t scared if my hand touched their hand.  My goal was to make that moment a pleasant one, to show them a bit of love, to suspend time for just a second before they retreated back to their curb side home.   
I cannot and will not get into the politics regarding the homeless.  I have done some research, and I certainly have my opinions, but I don’t want to address that here.  However, I will comment on how much perspective one can gain when stepping away from their own lives and stepping up to help others.  It is the most fulfilling feeling one can have. I think it might be easy to be quick to judge...why doesn’t that lazy person get a job?  Why don’t they stop smoking crack and get a job?  I’ve worked hard for my money, why should I give it to someone on the streets?  I get it.  I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve had some of these thoughts myself.  However, we don’t truly know a persons path.  We don’t truly know what they have endured.  And while yes, I work hard for my money, I am also blessed with not wanting for much.  So why in the world wouldn’t I help those who are in need?  Because of my ego?  Because of my judgement?  Because of my assumptions regarding the “choices” they have made?  No.  I can’t think of a better use of my time, and a more fulfilling joy in my heart.  I am not here to preach, but I just wanted to share my experience with you.  With the holiday season approaching and colder nights being imminent, maybe you can find a way to give.  If you would like to head down to skid row with me, let me know.  I can promise you it will be an experience you will soon not forget.

Love. xo

“Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness.” ~ Erich Fromm

Friday, August 9, 2013

All Hail the Croughnut


For the past year or so the word “croughnut” has been resounding in my brain.  When I first read of this miraculous anomaly I felt my taste buds go into overdrive.  The idea behind the croughnut is an exquisite blend of doughnut and croissant.  It holds true to the size and shape and sweetness of a doughnut, but infuses the buttery, flaky, fluffy goodness of a croissant.  Heavenly, right?  The problem with these angelic pastries was that they were only being created in New York?  Ex-SQUEEZE me?  I would continuously ask people, “WHEN is the croughnut coming to L.A. ? I mean something that comes from the heavens should reside in the city of angels, am I right?”  But no one could answer this question and my heart remained heavy.  For a year I have been continually teased and tempted and mocked by food diaries, blogs, articles and even tweets about the almighty croughnut. Until today.  Today I logged onto twitter and saw the words I’ve been anxiously awaiting.  Croughnut comes to Los Angeles!  What’s that I hear?  Angels singing??  To make the situation even more beautiful, the shop that is selling croughnuts is exactly 1.8 miles from the humble Los Feliz studio in which I’m currently dwelling.  I immediately hopped in my car and high tailed it to Kettle Glazed Doughnuts at 6211 Franklin Avenue.  My heart was literally racing as I was speeding along Franklin.  For a moment I thought that perhaps I should reassess just HOW excited I was about this croughnut.  Maybe it was a bit excessive.  But the truth is, there aren’t many things we have to wait for anymore.  We live in a time where we can get almost anything we want on the ready.  We can google something if we don’t know it, we can buy something on credit if we don’t have the cash, and we have access to transportation to take us just about anywhere.  We don’t get the gut wrenching pleasure and thrill of anticipation all that often anymore.  So I think the thrill of awaiting the croughnut for an entire year made the ability to go get one that much sweeter.  Plus, I knew it was going to be good.  How good?  Boy was I in for a shock.


Kettle Glazed is in a modest strip mall on Franklin Avenue in Los Angeles.  They have only been open for three days and the shop had a crisp clean feel upon entering.  A friendly employee welcomed me and I proceeded to quickly scan the gorgeous pastries looking for my precious croughnut. I ordered two, along with an iced coffee.  They sell Coffee Bean coffee, along with an assortment of other beverages.  I paid for my fare ($3.75 per croughnut), snapped a few pictures and left quickly.  The anticipation was starting to make me drool.  I’m just going to warn you now...what I’m about to tell you next isn’t pretty.  I jumped back into my car and tore into that first croughnut as though I was seeing a morsel of food for the first time after a sixty day fast.  Did I care that the man from the liquor store was staring at me through the window, mouth ajar?  Did I care that crumbs were falling all over my freshly washed car?  Nope.  Not even a little.  The supple sugary party that was commencing in my mouth took me to a place beyond reason.  Nirvana was dancing on my tongue.  The thing I usually don’t like about doughnuts is that they are too sweet and dense and leave me feeling sick.  But the croughnut, oh the croughnut.  It was the most perfect blend of sweet, flaky, airy awesomeness and it far exceeded my expectations.  It was genuinely amazing.  To have waited to try something for a year, and then have it exceed my expectations....well, I think I just might be smiling for the next year! I guess some things truly are worth the wait. If you are even remotely local, get yourself to Kettle Glazed Doughnuts, buy a croughnut or three, hop in your car, abandon all sense of propriety and enjoy!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Italian Zucchini Boats...

Based on the name...perhaps I should call these gondolas??  

I haven't shared a recipe in a while...probably because I haven't been doing much cooking!  Cooking is my love, my escape, my zen place!  Well, one of them!  Anyway, I'm back from New Orleans and Spain and boy do I have the cooking bug.  This recipe was oh so simple, but really delicious!  It's also something that you can definitely modify and make it your own!  This is a vegetarian recipe, but again, meat can always be added for the carnivores out there!!  :)

What You Will Need (to feed 5-6):

1.  6 - 7 hearty sized zucchinis
2.  4 cloves of fresh garlic, finely minced (garlic powder or paste can be substituted, but c'mon...let's keep it real!)
3.  1 can of quartered artichoke hearts, coarsely chopped
4.  2 cans of crushed tomatoes, preferably the ones that already have oregano or garlic flavorings.  (Or if you want to keep it UBER clean, toss some tomatoes and seasonings into your food processor to make your own crushed tomatoes!)  
5.  3 teaspoons of olive oil
6.  Salt and Pepper to taste
7.  1 cup of Italian seasoned bread crumbs.  I used the panko type for better crunch.
8.  1 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese

Steps:

1.  Pre-heat your oven to 350.
2.  Line a large baking tray with foil and spray the foil with non-stick spray (optional).
3.  Slice your zucchinis length wise in half (do this as evenly as possible).
4.  Using a spoon, scoop out the pulp of your zucchini halves into a bowl and place zucchini halves on your baking tray.

Your empty zucchini halves will look like this..


5.  In a large, non-stick pan, heat up your olive oil and minced garlic.  
6.  Add the zucchini pulp, chopped artichoke hearts, crushed tomatoes, salt and pepper.  Let simmer for about 15 minutes until some of the juice has evaporated.  This is where you can get creative!  Add onion, oregano, thyme, corn, bacon bits, sausage, shredded carrots...WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES!


7.  Next, ladle the hot filling into zucchini boats! Fill 'em up, don't be shy!


8.  Place filled zucchini boats in the oven for 20 minutes.
9.  After 20 minutes, remove zucchini boats from oven.  Sprinkle shredded mozzarella cheese and bread crumbs all over boats.  
10.  Bake 10-12 more minutes.  Zucchini boats should be tender, but not mushy!  Bread crumbs and cheese should appear toasty!  Mmmmm!
11.  Serve this with a spinach salad to keep it green and low carb!  ENJOY and don't forget the vino!!!


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Vaughan Town


This is going to be a short entry as the schedule at the language school is grueling and exhausting.  But make no mistake...there is no negative connotation with either of those adjectives.  It is grueling and exhausting in the most gratifying way!  It is Tuesday afternoon...we’ve only been at it for two and a half days, but it seems like two and a half weeks!  Again, I don’t mean this in a negative way.  This concept of putting Anglos and Spaniards together for hours on end only speaking English is the most difficult, complicated, rewarding, interesting and gratifying experience!  There are 14 Anglos (this refers to the English speaking volunteers) and 14 Spaniards.  Our Anglos are mostly from the U.S. or the U.K.  I believe we have one Anglo from Australia and one woman who is Polish, but speaks English well enough to be a volunteer.  Our Spaniards are from all over Spain, some from big cities such as Madrid and some from tiny villages.  In my last post I spoke about feeling nervous about this experience.  The unknown can be scary!  And even now, two days in, I still feel nervous in certain situations, especially with the Spaniards who don’t speak English very well.  Those one on one sessions are difficult!  Furthermore, the second night we were here I was asked to get up and sing a song (California Dreamin’) because I made the mistake of mentioning that I like to sing.  HA!!  However, this is one of those situations that you just need to jump in feet first.  And it has been such a pleasure so far!  Often when you visit a foreign place you don’t really get to know the people of that place.  You sign up for tours (which are usually with other tourists) or you hoof around the area on foot with your family or companion!  But this situation is truly giving me the opportunity to get to know the people of Spain and this is so exciting!  On a more logistical note, the rooms are lovely, the location is beautiful and rural, and the food is pretty good!  We sit down for three meals a day, and two of them are served as three course meals! Unlimited wine served with lunch and dinner!  It’s so nice!  More details and thoughts later, but so far I am SO happy!  One of the leaders has already spoken to me about coming to Spain permanently to teach English.  I guess it’s true that with the more risks you take, the more possibilities arise!  








Saturday, July 6, 2013

We Have Nothing To Fear...But Fear Itself...Unless, Of Course, You Are Lost in a Foreign City!


This is my 19th night away from home and I’m struggling tonight.  I feel really homesick and I just have a general feeling of discomfort.  Nervous stomach, unable to sleep, headachey, etc.  I’m in this really odd hotel a bit outside of the city center, and just now I was sitting out on the patio hearing the cars go by and feeling a bit dishelveled.  Tomorrow I board the bus to Gredos for my week at the language school and I’m sure this is contributing to my weird feelings today.  I don’t fully know what to expect, what I’m walking into, how I will do speaking to Spaniards for hours on end, how the food will be, how well I will be able to sleep, etc.  While I’m there I don’t think I will have internet access and this makes me nervous.  How ridiculous am I?  There are people in this world who still sleep under thatch roofs in the jungle.  And I’m complaining about the fucking internet?  It’s making me giggle just typing this.  Which in turn is making me feel a bit better.  Yay, thanks blog!  To be honest, I know it would be incredibly healthy to be unplugged for a week.  But I’m just going to come clean and say the whole thing makes me a little nervous.  It’s funny...and PLEASE don’t think I sound conceited saying this...but I often have people tell me they think I’m very courageous. I do NOT say this to sound full of myself.  If you know me well, you know I am far from it.  Ew, cocky people are the worst.  But I guess some people think the things I do are pretty brave and that my life has influenced decisions they have made. I’ve received emails from people telling me about situations in which this happened.  And apparently thinking about what I might do in their situation helped them make the bolder decision that ended with an awesome result.  WHAT!?!  While this is so very flattering, it always catches me off guard because half of the time I walk around feeling pretty anxious about things.  Sometimes I catch myself in the situation that is so completely obscure I am literally chanting “What the hell am I doing?” in my head over and over and just wishing I could be at home on the couch watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns.  

Let’s use last night as an example.  After the Flamenco show (more on that show in another blog) I was starving and looking for something easy to eat.  After walking several blocks I found myself in a totally unfamiliar area of Madrid.  I had accidentally left my guide book at home and my phone died (too many videos of the dancers I think!)  So I’m alone and lost in Madrid at midnight.  Awesome.  It is an insane feeling to feel completely lost in a foreign place, in a sea of people who don’t speak your language, without any tools other than your senses to get you safely home.  Madrid is not as English speaking friendly as Paris, so trying to explain to the taxi driver where my hotel was located was like trying to explain to my students why they are going to need to know cursive some day.  “Because I said so” doesn’t work with a cabbie.  Anyway, after circling around a bit I thought I saw something familiar so I had him drop me off.  Oops, nope.  Not familiar.  Lost again.  Holy cow was I starting to get nervous.  I could actually feel my brain starting to edge toward full blown panic mode.  I started to question myself...what was I doing, why did I take this trip, why did I travel alone, no one else I know is doing this, why do I always get into these crazy situations...blah, blah, blah.  That critical scared voice reared its ugly head.  But then I just sat down on a bench, focused my energy for a second, absorbed some possible outcomes, and decided to embrace the opportunity to explore and hope that my senses would see me home.  And guess what? I was back to my hotel within the hour...stopping first for some crazy delicious street pizza and to watch some dancers perform killer acts in the plaza.  Aw yes, see how it all worked out?  But believe me, it started with “What the hell am I doing?”  Lesson learned, stay calm, stay present, and trust your senses.  And think about how much better this experience was than sitting on the couch watching reruns!  The other lesson learned, keep your darn phone charged while traveling alone in a foreign county.  

I guess I just want to take this opportunity to be really honest about the fact that most of the stuff I do makes me pretty nervous.  Most of the things I have accomplished in my life have not been comfortable.  In fact, most have been difficult and scary and nerve wracking.  I’m kind of a chicken!!  But the decision I have made and tried to stick with is that fear will not stop me.  It will not create unnecessary road blocks.  And I am a firm believer that if you aren’t just the slightest bit uncomfortable, you probably aren’t growing much. So I’d like to think I’m on my way to an enlightened and brave life where fear does not drive my decisions.  There are areas of my life in which I have really implemented this thought process and have truly disallowed fear to inhibit me.  There are certainly other areas where those ugly walls ‘o fear are still stubbornly standing strong and need to be bulldozed.  Working on it.  I love the short and simple quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” This I will most definitely keep doing, for I feel it is the best way to be your absolute best self.  On that note, the knots in my stomach are just a bit looser, my mind feels just a little bit clearer and I think I can now grab a few zzzz’s before I begin my next adventure in the morning.  Thanks for reading.  xo

P.S.  I've included some oh so silly selfies…
Spain is Amazing

It's super hot!

I've been stranded in Madrid in 2 days with only the clothes on my back…making the best of it!!

Trying out the metro…which is only in Spanish

I am SO LOST

VERY VERY LOST….  LOL!!

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The Big Easy is Easy to Love

I can’t believe my two weeks in New Orleans is over!  How did that happen?  Time always goes so much faster than you expect when you are enjoying yourself.  And what a lovely time I’ve had.  I’ve definitely learned a few things during my stay in the Big Easy.  For example, as much as I love to cook and as excited as I am to go home and whip up a cajun inspired meal, I definitely do NOT foresee any shrimp peeling attempts in the near future.  When faced with the task of peeling fresh shrimp for gumbo during my cooking class, my reaction was similar to someone who was about to make their first jump out of a plane. It was really quite embarrassing.  I felt shaky and my heart started to race as I willed myself to reach in the bag, pick up a shrimp and rip its head right off.  Good Lord, what a wimp!  My grandmother would be appalled.  :)

To make matters worse, mid shrimp peeling panic attack, I simultaneously had an allergic reaction on my hands.  It was very intense!  The feeling was reminiscent of the time I tripped in my kitchen a few years ago and landed palm down on a hot burner on the stove.  I’m pretty sure flames were lapping around my fingers.  OWWWW!  Luckily, our dear sioux chef doused my hand in milk and it provided almost immediate relief.  I’m sure the third glass of wine didn’t hurt either.  It was strange though.  I have never had any kind of allergic reaction to eating seafood in the past.  I’m really not sure what happened!  Perhaps my shaking hands (symptom of mini break down) were not primed for proper shrimp peeling and I may have given myself microscopic cuts from the shells.  Whatever it was, from this point on it’s pre-peeled shrimp for this California girl.  Despite the mini nervous breakdown and minor allergic reaction, we still had a wonderful time!  I’m so grateful that my cousin Karen was willing to take the class with me!  We made the most divine shrimp and sausage gumbo, exquisite crawfish Ã©touffée, and magical chocolate chip bread pudding with a mocha brandy sauce!  Who’s coming over for dinner next month? 
  


Another thing I’ve learned is that New Orleans has a very distinct scent.  Of course any city is going to have typical metropolitan odors, but this scent I’m referring to is entirely different and most certainly unique.  To capture the scent in words is difficult, but if I had to describe it I would say it was a mixture of a fresh herb garden and well oiled wood furniture.  Perhaps how you might imagine an antique store might smell.  Although I only visited New Orleans a couple of times as a child, I think that smell was retained in my arsenal of olfactory associations, and now as an adult I recognize it in various parts of the city.  It’s a delightful old timey smell that makes me feel very nostalgic.  I love it.

Another lesson.  New Orleans is hot in the summer time.  And humid.  And hot.

Finally, as much as I have a love hate relationship with social media, I will be forever grateful to Facebook for allowing my family to reestablish relationships with our New Orleans family over the last several years.  Growing up I so desperately wished I had cousins in my every day life.  Our little family in California was so tiny.  Small, but mighty was our motto.  Of course I had the knowledge that I had a slew of cousins in New Orleans, but we just didn’t keep in touch with them and I always felt a little bit sad about that.  I will be forever grateful that Facebook has changed that several years ago.  And I know that no matter the distance, our futures will always be tied together and that fills me with utter joy.  It makes me infinitely happy to get to know these lovely people and see all of their talents and personalities.  Not only is this family of mine in New Orleans gorgeous to look at, but their talents are phenomenal and inspiring.  From artists to comedians to social workers to professors to fire captains.  My love grows in abundance and I have cherished this time with you all so very much.  While I may never visit again in the summertime, you can most definitely bet that I will be visiting again soon. :)  xoxo

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Where Have I Been & Where Am I Going...Part 1


You know those people who have always known they wanted to teach?  It’s their undying passion and calling?  It’s what they always knew they were meant to do?  Yeah, that wasn’t me.  Teaching wasn’t my first profession.  When I was in college I really wasn’t sure what the future held for me.  I came from a family of educators and I knew I wanted something different.  You know, I had the typical adolescent “I want to do exactly the OPPOSITE of what my parents do” thought process. I wanted something exciting and high powered.  I wanted to wear designer suits and work in a sky rise and have lunch meetings over martinis.  That seemed glamorous to me.  I graduated from USC with a B.A. in Communication and thought I’d go into the marketing or advertising fields, or perhaps even the entertainment industry.  Looking back, I had no idea what the hell I really wanted.  I was like the two main characters in “Romy and Michele”...you know, the ones who wore adorable suits, pretended they invented Post-Its and asked for the “business woman special” at the diner even though they were unemployed.  (If you don’t know the reference, just imagine a child playing dress up).  What did I know? I just thought pencil skirt suits and heels looked hot!  I didn’t come from a business minded family.  I don’t say that in a negative way, my parents were wonderful, respected, hard working educators.  It just means they probably knew about as much as I did in terms of what career path to take when it came to the world of business.  So I ended up just sort of following my friends.  First, I followed one friend to Enterprise Rent-A-Car and worked there for two years.  It’s hard to imagine getting burned out at the budding age of twenty-three, but that job was about as gnarly as I could imagine.  There were parts of it that were fun, especially because I was working alongside other young recent college grads.  We were getting worked to the bone, cleaning cars in nylons and heels, dealing with difficult customers, and doing grunt work with our newly obtained college degrees.  But hey, at least we were doing it together!!  And to be fair, we were learning a decent amount about running a business from the ground up.  Plus, there was always a company sponsored happy hour to soften the blow of sixty hour weeks, sprinting for cars in stilettos and vacuuming cheerios out of the backseat of an Impala.   

After two years, I was done with Enterprise and ended up moving back home to pay my way out of debt (Hollywood living will do that to you) and find other work.  This time I followed another friend into a staffing agency, where our job was to solicit new companies to utilize our services.  I was terrible.  I am not a sales person.  I don’t want to have to convince you, cajole you, wine and dine you to persuade you to buy a product or a service.  It just isn’t in my DNA and it feels surface and meaningless to me.  After struggling through that job for nearly a year, I was hired as an administrative assistant at a pan spray company.  This was a pretty decent job, but the boss was kind of an asshole and the guy that I worked for directly was an old codger that smelled funny and made uncomfortable comments about the way I dressed.  Peace out.  

At this point in time I had many friends starting to get into serious relationships and head down the marriage path.  Meanwhile I was just kind of floundering, having no idea what to do, how to do it, what I was good at, etc.  I know that tons of people work numerous jobs that they hate.  I get it.  I'm not above hard work, but I was young and wanted to find my passion!  I knew I had some talent somewhere, but I needed to tap into it.  Plus, I was stuck in Newbury Park, where I grew up!  Newbury Park is a beautiful suburb, but I should have left!  I suppose since I had just gotten myself out of my Hollywood living debt, I was too scared to get back into it by moving to a new city and risking financial failure again.  I felt trapped in a bubble.  Plus, I felt stuck on the notion that I was expected to go down the “4 years of college, get a job, get a husband, pop out some kids” path.  Whether those were external expectations or ones I was putting on myself, I cannot say for sure.  I know my parents never made me feel pressured, but they certainly always wanted me to have a plan.  I guess it’s just what I figured was supposed to happen.  And this is where I feel I sold out a bit.  I didn’t know what to do, so I went with what was familiar.  I had a serious boyfriend and our relationship was heading in the direction of matrimony, so I thought going back to school for my teaching credential made sense.  It was a good solid job, I thought kids were pretty cool since I had spent my college summers teaching swim lessons, and I thought it would make a great career for a wife and a mother.  So I went back to school, completed my Multiple Subject K-6 teaching credential, student teaching and eventually completed my Masters in Education.  

Having been the daughter of educators, I had a preconceived notion about teaching.  I was under the ignorant impression that you had the ability to choose what grade you wanted to teach and that you could remain in that grade until YOU opted for a change.  That is how it had been for my mom, so silly me thought it would be the same.  And for a bit it WAS that way!  I was fortunate enough to be hired right away, in the exact job I wanted.  I was teaching 6th grade English and Social Science at the very middle school I attended as a tween, where my dad had been my principal.  I even took over my mama’s classroom!  Awwww, so quaint!  For a second it seemed like all was falling into place!  The hard work obtaining my credential and masters was completed, the perfect job was landed, there was a ring on my finger and wedding planning was underway.  Boy oh boy it had all worked out! 

HA!  Don’t get too comfortable.  If it sounds too perfect, it usually is.  The storm was brewing and it was right around the corner...

TO BE CONTINUED

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Priorities

It has been far too long since my last post.  Isn't it funny how we can get caught up with all the things we "HAVE" to do, and let the things we "NEED" to do go by the wayside?  I consider myself a relatively simple creature.  I don't need a lot.  Besides the basics that all humans need, I have a few necessities to feel complete and whole.  I need contact with my friends and family on a regular basis.  I need exercise for my body and brain to feel good.  I need good literature to consume.  I need my spiritual life to feel centered.  And I need to WRITE.  Writing is such a cathartic experience for me.  Whether I'm simply recounting my day or expressing a deep thought on something, it is so important to me.  So why do we abandon these things that we so desperately need to feel complete?  I know that I am 100% at my best when I am able to complete one or two of the aforementioned activities on a daily basis.  But then...life.  Oh how it gets in the way!  Since April I've been so stressed out over my job situation (more on that and my utter frustration with the education system in another post), I've been crazed packing up my condo and preparing it for renters, and then as soon as the last box was taped on my condo, I had to start packing up my classroom.  It's a wonder I was able to find my passport for this trip.  On top of that I've been dealing with neighbors who make me want to scream (perhaps I ought to post my letter to the HOA for your reading pleasure?) and consistent health concerns that I will delve into more in another post.  I know I am not alone.  Never do I want to sound like a martyr in anything I write.  I know so many of you can relate to feeling like you are balancing a million things on your plate.  It seems that everyone has their various stresses and commitments that take them away from the soul nourishing activities that we all desperately need.  The truth is, wouldn't we be better equipped to handle all those stresses and commitments if we first committed to taking care of ourselves?  The more centered and healthy I feel, the better I am able to handle anything that comes my way.  This is something we must remind ourselves over and over and over again.

The good news is I made it.  I made it through a very chaotic two and half months and here I am on day one of a very exciting journey.  For those of you who don't know, I am on a month long trip to New Orleans and Spain.  I will try to journal my experiences through this blog.  I'd love for you to follow me, but if you only catch an entry here or there, that's ok too!  It's mostly for my own fulfillment and love of the written word.  The love of capturing moments with rich language and sensory details that allow my readers to be in the moment with me. Whether we are sitting down to a dinner of the most divine grilled catfish or touring Barcelona, I hope you will enjoy the journey with me.  More to come as this is only day one.  In the mean time, let's all think about the things we need to make our souls feel complete and check just one thing off the list today!  xoxo 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Social Media Reflections

Recently I've been very pensive about what technology is doing to human relationships.  In particular, social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler, Vine and so many more outlets.  Have these sites replaced face to face interaction?  Have these sites helped cultivate better relationships, or have they created a false sense of connection that is, in fact, completely lacking a foundation? I would venture to guess there can be strong arguments for both.  But I do worry that eventually the human race is going to stop talking completely.  I fear that all communication will be done through "liking" a status, "favoriting" a tweet, uploading a photo or posting an ambiguous quote about life lessons and following your dreams.  And if that happens, are we truly living our dreams if we've lost the soul nourishing moments of face to face interactions that actually include, GASP, eye contact?  Can we possibly maintain the same sense of connection?

Every morning I go to Starbucks.  I know, it's a very expensive habit.  It's one I've tried to give up over and over, vowing to make my own coffee and use the saved money toward a fabulous trip or something else I need.  I just can't seem to do it.  In addition to loving their coffee, I also love seeing the same baristas every day, hearing them greet me by name, and even seeing some of the same customers every morning.  My delight, however, has been cut short lately as I've been noticing more and more often that out of six or seven people in line at Starbucks, almost every single person is looking down at their phone.  It is as if they are in a bubble, so entranced by whatever is being projected on their tiny blue screen that they forget that actual real life human beings are all around, waiting to be engaged and acknowledged.  How can projected pixels be better than the living breathing interaction and eye contact with someone standing in front of you?  What's worse, is now that I have become much more aware and reflective about our loss of human interaction, I've realized that for years I have been just as guilty of doing this as much as everyone else. Like so many others, I have been trapped in the technology loop...check my personal email, read a few texts, mosey on over to Facebook, like a few posts, maybe make a comment, post something, head on over to Instagram, check out the photos, scroll down to Twitter, favorite a few tweets, check my work email, RINSE AND REPEAT.  It's insane and has suddenly made me sad.  If we added up the minutes spent on these supposed "social" media outlets, would it be the equivalent to having a lovely lunch with a family member, grabbing a glass of wine with a friend, or taking a walk with a coworker?

Of course I acknowledge that there are great benefits to these social media websites.  Recently, a dear friend of mine helped her mother find her long lost son that had been given up for adoption over fifty years ago.  By posting information on Facebook and asking people to share it, the search reached as far as Asia and mother and son were reunited.  How amazing! Facebook allows us to keep up with people who are far away.  I am thrilled to be able to stay in touch with my cousins in New Orleans who I don't see very often.  I love knowing what they are doing and seeing their beautiful pictures on Facebook. I know there are many other stories of lost connections being remedied, advice and support being shared, and often a sense of community and support offered through tough times, times of mourning and shock, and times of celebration and happiness.  I love these aspects of social media and for these reasons, I am certainly not saying I want them to disappear.

I am simply asking for a bit of balance.  I think we give ourselves a false sense of connection through these social media websites.  For example, I read through my Facebook feed and I see that Johnny and his family went to the beach today, and my cousin Jane is at dinner with her husband, and my friend Suzie is having a tough time at work.  I take it all in, maybe make a comment or two, and then move on.  Am I giving myself the false sense that I am all caught up on these peoples' lives and don't need to make any more effort than that?  Does "liking" a tweet constitute the necessary support or enthusiasm between friends and families these days?  We need to keep in mind that these posts, tweets and pictures are only capturing an itty bitty fragment of the much bigger picture.  I don't want us to lose site of this.  I don't want us to let ourselves off the hook.  My hope is that people will remember that cell phones have only been around for a few decades.  In a simpler time people could stand in line at the coffee shop and chit chat with other patrons, moms could leave their kids at home with dad or a babysitter and not be checking their cell phone every ten minutes, friends could have dinner without the iPhone sitting next to their plate, and stories could be told using live voices and eye contact rather than being read in 8 point Times New Roman font in less than 140 characters.

My new goal is to unplug more often and interact face to face more frequently.  I've been making a concerted effort to leave my phone in my purse more often and not have it clutched in my hands at all times.  I don't want my memories to be made up of staring down at a screen.  I don't want my knowledge of my friends and family to be fed simply through a Facebook post.  I WANT to have a conversation with a random person at the coffee shop, because we have so much to learn from new people.  Because face to face human interaction feeds the soul.  Today I challenge you to unplug, make eye contact, and reach out to your loved ones beyond just liking their status.  I'm not saying that we need to give it all up, but let's bring it back to a simpler time.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Blue Table Gourmet Deli and Market

The other day I was desperately craving a deli sandwich.  I also wanted to go somewhere local where I could sit outside and enjoy the gorgeous Southern California day.  The sun was shining and I was hungry!  I decided to try Blue Table in Agoura Hills, as I have passed by it several times and have been wanting to give it a try.  Blue Table is located in the Whizin's shopping center, right next to the Canyon Club.  




  
The restaurant is actually a deli and market combined and presents a quaint European cafe style atmosphere.  The cafe offers small tables for two and longer communal tables inside, as well as sidewalk seating for those of us who love to eat with the sun on our face. It is a perfect place to dine alone or with a group of three or four people.  It may be difficult to find seating with a larger group.  The shop portion of Blue Table offers gourmet pastas, sauces, dressing and preserves.  I can see these coming together to make a fine gift basket or a special dinner at home.  The menu at Blue Table is written on a large chalkboard and boasts delicious sandwiches, paninis, pizzas, salads, soups and several tantalizing desserts that look freshly baked.  Blue Table also offers hot daily specials such as pastas and quiches.  On the day I visited, the special was Mac 'n Cheese, which was very tempting!  



Alas, I stuck with a sandwich which is what I was craving.  I ordered a tuna salad sandwich on a baguette and it was just what I was in the mood for.  Fresh, light and tasty.  Unfortunately, I only remembered to take a picture after I had eaten half.  (Did I mention I was hungry?) :)  As you can see, the portions are generous. 



To accompany my sandwich I added chips and an old fashioned orange cream soda, which hit the spot on such a warm, beautiful day!  My total came to $14, which is a bit more than you would pay for a sandwich, chips and a beverage at a chain restaurant such as Subway or Jersey Mike's.  However, the taste, ambiance, and sidewalk seating providing a view of the gorgeous hills of Agoura made the extra dollars worth it!


Overall, I had a lovely experience at Blue Table.  As someone who is forever on a quest to find delicious and unique non-chain dining spots, I was pleased with Blue Table's atmosphere, menu and flavor.  I also love that this is a perfect pit stop coming or going down to Zuma Beach.  I will definitely be going back soon to try another delicious sandwich.  Thanks Blue Table!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Cake Ball Fun!

As much as I love to cook, I'm really not much of a baker.  Baking is truly an art form, as well as a science.  If I were in charge of a four course meal, I would make everything from scratch and then suggest we go out for fro yo at the end of the dinner party.  :)  However, over the summer I learned an easy to make, yet decadent dessert that I'd like to share with my lovely readers.  Not only is this recipe simple, but it's extremely versatile, is quite popular right now, makes for a gorgeous presentation and can be tailored to fit any theme or party!  Introducing...

CAKE BALLS!!!

What you will need:
*1 box of cake mix and all of the ingredients needed to bake the cake.  You can choose any flavor of cake.  I've used yellow cake, chocolate cake, lemon cake and even strawberry cake.
*1 tub of white frosting (you can use chocolate, but only for dark cakes)
*1 bag of candy melts in your color of choice

*Toppings of choice (sprinkles, chopped nuts, butterscotch chips, chocolate chips, crushed peppermint, etc)

Directions:
1.  Bake your cake in a 9x13 pyrex according to instructions and let cool.
2.  Slice your cake into four sections, slicing in a criss cross direction.  Pull out two sections at a time, and over a large bowl, gently rub the sections of cake together and it will start to crumble into the bowl.  Crumbs should be small.  Do this until completely crumbled.  Do this to the remaining two sections of cake.  You will have a large sized mound of crumbled cake in your bowl.

3. Now spoon about 1/4 cup of the white frosting into your cake crumbles and using your finger tips, combine the crumbles and frosting.  You may need to add more frosting.  Consistency should be moist and you should be able to shape the cake into relatively sturdy balls.
4.  Line a large cookie tray with wax or parchment paper and as you shape the cake balls, place them on the wax paper.  Once your tray is filled, place in refrigerator to chill.  The chill will help them hold their shape.  Chill for about an hour.
5.  After about an hour, create a double boiler on your stove and melt your candy coating.  


6.  This is where you can get creative in terms of color!  With my lemonade cake (which I think of as a Spring or Summer flavor) I used a beautiful green coating with yellow sprinkles.  If you were making these treats for Halloween, you could use orange candy coat and top your cake balls with crushed Oreos or mini chocolate chips.  The combinations of flavors and colors are endless!  
6.  When candy is thoroughly melted, place a chilled cake ball on a spoon, dip it into the candy melt, thoroughly coat, and place back on wax paper.  Apply toppings immediately before candy hardens.  Repeat until all cake balls have been coated and topped.  VOILA!  A gorgeous and delicious dessert!!



Credit to Julia Wilson for teaching me to make these gems! xo

Monday, February 18, 2013

Heaven for Thirty Bucks

As I write this, I fully realize some people are simply not the "strip down and let a stranger massage your body" type of person.  I can understand that, and while I hate to think of you missing out on this blissful and health promoting indulgence, I will respectfully say that this blog entry probably isn't for you.  :)  So, I'll see you at the next one.  However, for those of us who absolutely ADORE the delicious jelly-like state that a fantastic massage can induce, I literally had to run home and write about the wonderful discovery I made today!  First, I would like to say I'm somewhat of a massage connoisseur. :)  While I am by no means a world travel, I have visited my fare share of cities in my time.  And I've made it a habit to book a spa treatment in nearly every city I have visited.  I have been rubbed and kneaded at the Waldorf Astoria in New York, I have been brushed and buffed while staring out at the Hubbard Glacier in Alaska, I have been glazed and coddled on the seas of the Caribbean,  and I have been pumiced and stroked in the heart of Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, New Orleans, and our very own Los Angeles.  I have definitely had my fair share of pampering.  It's something I adore, so I save my dollars or work an extra job for this lovely indulgence and I count it as one of my excursions while traveling.  Unfortunately, this type of luxury does not come cheap.  I will never forget paying $210 plus tip at the Waldorf for an extremely sub-par fifty minute massage.  Boo hoo.  Luckily, most of my spa trips have been wonderful, which is why I continue to include them during my travels.  

Not only do I enjoy this extravagance while traveling, but I like to enjoy a massage every now and then here at home, between jaunts!    But as I said before, this can be a pricey past time.  I had a friend introduce me to the Chinese foot massage place on Thousand Oaks Boulevard over the summer and it was o.k.  For $20 you are given a pretty good rub down.  However, my issue with this place is that you are not in a private room.  You are on a lounge chair (think Lazy Boy type recliner) in a rather cramped room with six to eight other lounge chairs.  And these lounge chairs are very likely to be filled with at least two to three other people also being massaged.  I went two or three times and tried my best to block out the fact that there were other people getting massaged all around me.  It was ok (my mind is good at escapism)...until the last time I went.  The man next to me was so relaxed that he quickly fell asleep.  Clearly it was a deep slumber, for said man started snoring, LOUDLY, throughout his entire massage.  The grunting and whistling coming from this man literally sounded like someone was letting out the air of a helium balloon as slowly as possible.  It was so distracting that I simply could not enjoy my massage.  After that, I decided I better stick to nicer day spas, bite the bullet and pay more and go less frequently.  

That is, until today.  Today I was feeling rather achy from a slight increase in exercise and my muscles were begging to be taken to nirvana.  But I only had $40 left in my "fun fund" for the weekend...hmmmm...what to do???  I jumped on the old Yelp (this can be hit and miss, but I gave it a whirl) and found another Chinese massage place on Thousand Oaks Boulevard called 5 Star Body and Foot Massage.  I read in the reviews that they had private rooms, but that the prices were still reasonable.  I was willing to give it a shot.  I jumped on the horn, asked if they had any availability, and was face down on a nice comfy massage table (in my own private room) within twenty minutes.  I asked for the combo massage.  The cost was slightly higher ($30) but OH SO WORTH IT!  This place was a dream.  I was quickly lost in the luxurious feeling of warm oil bearing the faint scent of watermelon, strong skillful hands and absolute bliss.  Rita, my masseuse, incorporated oil and hot stones and did wonders on my back, arms, neck and feet.  I truly felt spoiled for $30.  Of course, a place like this does not come with the perks and frills of a regular day spa.  Certainly no sauna or steam room, no lockers and no citrus infused water coolers hanging about.  However, you are also spending a quarter of the cost and I walked away happy as a clown.  I can honestly say this massage rivaled many massages I've had, for which I've paid double and triple the cost.  If you are a lover of massage as I am, then give 5 Star Body and Foot Massage a try!  ENJOY!!  

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Vegetarian Thai Peanut Pasta

As many of you know, there are few things that give me greater pleasure than cooking.  Nothing beats skipping around the kitchen, music blasting, and creating something new and tasty.  So today, in the spirit of my love for all things palate related, I would like share a delicious and easy recipe for Vegetarian Thai Peanut Pasta.  This is a recipe near and dear to my flavor loving heart.  I like it spicy, but you can certainly vary the ingredients to favor your taste buds. This can be prepared for a group of friends or for a party of one.  The recipe I am sharing serves five people.  You can double or halve if necessary.  Additionally, it can be tweaked to fit many diet restrictions.

What You Will Need:

1/3 cup chunky peanut butter (You can go with natural, reduced fat or full fat.  It is up to you!)
1/3 cup water
3 tbsp. brown sugar
3 tbsp. rice vinegar
3 tbsp. soy sauce (Use low sodium if you are going for the healthy!)
1 tsp. crushed red pepper (Reduce if you don't like it too spicy!)
8 ounces uncooked spaghetti (You can use white, wheat or gluten-free pasta!)
10 ounces fresh snow peas, trimmed 
1 large carrot, shredded


Directions:

Cook pasta according to directions.  Add snow peas to pasta the last 3 minutes of cooking. Drain and place cooked pasta in a large serving bowl.  While pasta is cooking,  combine the first six ingredients in a medium saucepan.  Cook over medium heat until mixture begins to boil, stirring the entire time.  Remove from heat and add sauce and carrots to pasta, tossing thoroughly to coat noodles.

I would serve this pasta dish with a light salad made of iceberg or romaine lettuce, mandarin orange slices, peeled cucumber, slivered almonds and a light sesame dressing!  Bon Appetit!!